This extract from Maggie O Farrell’s brilliant I Am, I Am, I Am – Seventeen Brushes With Death, was published in Time magazine, ‘adapted’ from the ‘Abdomen 2003’ chapter of the book:
“Get up,” were his first words to me. “Let me see you walk.”
I wish now I’d left there and then, but at the time I was so astonished I complied.
“There is nothing wrong with you,” he pronounced, after he’d seen me take two steps. “You will have a normal delivery.”
I started to ask for clarification but the consultant — we’ll call him Mr. C — talked over me. Caesareans were a cult, he said, a fashion. I had been reading too many gossip magazines. I assured him this was not the case but he shouted me down again: Did I realize that Caesareans constituted major surgery? Why had I allowed myself to be swayed by celebrities? Did I doubt his medical expertise? What was wrong with me, that I was so afraid of a bit of pain?
The rest of the extract can be read here >>>
From an essay, ‘Advice on Motherhood’, by Dominique Cleary, first published in the Dublin Review (#72, Autumn 2018), there’s this interesting scene featuring the obstetrician >>
It took two epidurals to deliver John. My husband asked me whether I had noticed the obstetrician stroking my thigh during labour. I hadn’t, but I knew I had hugged his arm for comfort. When he placed John at my breast he said, ‘No more babies, you have one of each now and you’ve done enough.’ It was strangely reassuring to hear him say that. He restricted my visitors and arranged that I get an extra night’s rest in my overheated hospital room that smelled of rotting grapes and wilting lilies.
The essay, which was reproduced in full by RTÉ Culture (here), is quite the indictment of how our society was/is constructed when it comes to supporting parenthood, particularly pregnancy, labour and early motherhood, and especially in relation to women’s careers. There is a very revealing flashback scene in which the author is confronted by a classmate on her first day as a law student:
‘Look around at all the women,’ he said. ‘For every one of you, there’s a man sitting home right now that didn’t get in. Most of you are going to get married and have children anyway. What a waste.’