http://www.independent.ie/life/health-wellbeing/my-imperfections-will-be-the-ones-noticed-teen-posts-heart-breaking-poem-as-wait-for-lifechanging-surgery-continues-31227007.html

There’s  talk  of  a  party  next  weekend.
Dresses  on  phone  screens,  trading  cosmetics
beneath  school  desks,  hushed  excitement.
Soldiers  battling  through  the  final  weeks  of  school
with  the  idea  of  bright  lights  in  their  minds.

There’s  talk  of  a  party  next  weekend.
I  will  not  be  attending,  I  know,
for  what  they  find  exciting,  I  find  terrifying.
Crowds  make  me  anxious,  clothes  shopping
makes  me  sad,  going  out  makes  me  tired.

There’s  talk  of  a  party  next  weekend.
I  remember  a  time  when  I,  too,  was  excited.
I  remember  the  last  time  I  went  out  —
December  17th,  2013.  It  was  fun,  but
I  returned  home  early,  exhausted.

There’s  talk  of  a  party  next  weekend.
I  know  my  best  friend  of  ten  years
would  only  love  to  go,  just  to  change  it  up;
she  won’t  go.  She’ll  swear  she  doesn’t  mind
but  guilt  still  chokes  my  throat.

There’s  talk  of  a  party  next  weekend.
I  want  to  go,  I  do,  but  I’m  afraid.
I’m  afraid  that  despite  the  darkness,
despite  the  dozens  of  other  dolls  there,
my  imperfections  will  be  the  ones  noticed.

There’s  talk  of  a  party  next  weekend.
When  the  others  my  age  are  beautifully  made  up,
I  will  be  at  home  with  backaches  as  my  company.
I  will  be  trying  to  convince  myself  that  this
is  what  makes  me  happiest.

There’s  talk  of  a  party  next  weekend.
There’s  talk  of  the  election  this  month.
There’s  talk  of  the  economy,  the  recession.
There’s  talk  of  absolutely  everything  but  when
I  will  feel  comfortable  in  my  own  skin  again.

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